From: Albert Thorn []
Sent: Tuesday, November 27, 2001 11:09 PM
Subject: KickAss Newsblast 11-27-01

KickAss Newsblast

November 27, 2001

KickAss Martians @ AJ's in Corvallis December 1st, 2001
I smashed my thumb very badly while putting up posters for this gig, so I hope it was worth it.  It's throbbing as I type this, so I'm expecting some unbridled wild times this Saturday night !!!

I love playing shows at AJ's because it's one of the few chances I get to shout obscenities in the middle of a conservative family restaurant.  Well, I guess it's more of an Irish Pub, but it sure seems conservative when I walk in there during the day.  

I'm thinking of dusting off the KickAss Lightshow for this performance.  That should be real ill.

Also, I was able to modify my live rig significantly over the Thanksgiving weekend.  I'll be trying out several new modifications at this show:
    - New synth engine based on the EMU XL7
    - All synth patches have been ported from the EMU E5000 to the XL7 and reprogrammed
    - New vocal microphone
    - Customized AX1 (that's the strap-on keyboard) power supply

New (or recently added) songs on the 12/1 setlist:  VEGAS, CRUSH ON YOU, BE LIKE ME, OVERDRIVE MANIFESTO

Who:      KickAss Martians in your face!  High chance of solo electronica from Albert Thorn.
What:    KAM unleashed.  This is the full show that out-of-towners rarely get to see.  
When:    Saturday night December 1, 2001.  9pm - close
Where:  AJ's - 137 SW 2nd - Corvallis
Why:      You can't keep this much spunk stopped up in a bottle.


Albert Thorn on KBVR Radio 12/4/01

If you live in the Corvallis/Albany area, you should listen to KBVR radio every day.  They rock.  In particular, you should tune in to Matt LaPlante's show on Tuesday morning December 4th from 9-10am.  Albert Thorn will be in the studio talking with Matt about a variety of controversial subjects.  The focus will be on the latest KAM CD and recent live performances, but I am guessing that the conversation will touch on world events, gender politics, free speech, dream therapy, relationship counseling, and Eastern mythology.  Callers are always welcome (541-737-4962).


KickAss Martians:  Rock and Relationship Counseling ???

If you feel that you have been marooned in someone else's life, KickAss Martians thinks it can relate to you.  If you are having trouble dealing with the people in your life, KickAss Martians wants to help you cope.  

Cock McConnell spoke at Tuesday's press conference and announced a major reorganization at KAM Corporate Headquarters.  Cock has named himself Vice-President in charge of Relationship Counseling for KickAss Martians.  "Rock and Relationship Counseling; it just makes sense" Cock was quoted as saying.  "From now on, KickAss Martians will dedicate an appropriate amount of time during every live performance to dealing with the core issues that challenge our fans' ability to experience intimacy, meaningful communication, and general connectivity with their partners.  We are mostly interested in issues relating to trust, but we certainly are not going to dictate the sorts of issues that will be tackled."  When asked about how much performance time would be devoted to relationship counseling, Cock firmly reiterated, "An appropriate amount."

Ruth Peterson, former head of Relationship Counseling was apparently blindsided by the news and stormed out of the conference along with her bodyguards.  She has since been unavailable for comment.

KAM Now Available On Morpheus
Do you remember Napster?  I don't.  I've been using Morpheus for months, and it's *way* better.  You can find mp3's, video, software, and pretty much any computer file.  The only problem for us MacAddicts is that it only works with a WinTel PC.  Hence, I have use a friend's computer to access the thing.  That's OK though.  When I want to get rowdy I travel to Vegas.  When I need a little danger, I get myself to New Orleans.  When I want to download illegal music, I use a Windows PC.

Anyway... KAM is now available on Morpheus.  That is, I was able to find several tracks from
VEIN the other day and one track from Albert Thorn's solo CD.  You know you've made it big when people start stealing from you.  Yes!!!

Download Morpheus here: [search for Morpheus]

Day-To-Day Woes Of A Public Enigma
When I walk into bars (and certain stores) these days, people who I have never seen before come up to me and accuse me of being associated with KickAss Martians.  They smile, shout out my name, and tell me how much they like my work.

People:  "I am the singer/songwriter for an avant garde electronic rock band featuring cutting edge musical textures and desperately introspective lyrics.  In order for me to function, I need to believe that the world hates me and that I am somehow unworthy of enjoying even the simplest of human pleasures.  When strangers come up to me and innocently give me love, it makes it difficult for me to believe that I am despised, underappreciated, misunderstood, and deeply wronged by people who probably don't even know I exist.  I know my fans don't mean any harm, but in truth, I have a hard time imagining a way for them to do more harm.  Would these people go up to their favorite hockey player and break their little stick?  Would they go up to their favorite golf player and break their little stick?  I'm not particularly interested in sports, but I know how to construct a good analogy in order to sway public opinion."

All I am asking for is for people to be a little more sensitive of my needs when they see me out in public.  When you talk to me, keep in mind my need to be enigmatic, antisocial, and emotionally disconnected.  If you come up to me with adoration and appreciation all the time, don't be surprised if my next CD sounds like Elton John's Greatest Hits.  That's all.

Korg Triton 88-Key Synth For Sale
Is anybody in the market for a new top-of-the-line Korg Triton synth?  I have a friend who is selling one under full manufacturer's warranty.  $2500 = dirt cheap.  Send me an email and I'll hook you up.

Roland MC-505 Groovebox, EMU ESI-32 Turbo Sampler for sale
What's with all this used synth gear?  I'm selling my Roland MC505 Groovebox ($500 obo).  It'll probably go up on eBay in a month or so, but I thought I'd give Newsblast readers first crack.

Also on the chopping block:  EMU ESI-32 Turbo sampler ($400 obo).  One sampler too many in my studio, but it works great and the sound is identical to my E5000.  This unit has the Turbo option, so it has built-in effects, extra filters, outputs, SCSI, etc.  This is the one with the buttons on the front panel for triggering sounds (very useful for DJ's).  I'll throw in some sound CD's too.


Ass-Kicking Auction

In keeping with the tradition of providing our readers with news from all things Ass Kicking, here's an interesting link:

Confession:  I stole this link from Nino Rebel's always-amazing
Nervous In Suburbia Yahoo! Club...


OK, that's it.

- A.